Emotions

Its 9:41pm. My sister is already sleeping on the bed. I am just here, infront of the monitor.

Then I think to myself, 'What is going to happen in the future?', or more precisely, 'What is it going to be like when I'm in the States?, What is going to happen to me as soon as my parent and my sisters leave?

A lot of things scared me out. That includes all the unknown variables that I am going to face... soon.. in less than three weeks. Everything happened so fast, I didn't even realize. Ofcourse, I am happy, glad, lucky that I get to go to the States and study. I should have that excitement deep down in my cold feelings, BUT, for some reason, I have this strange, frightened-like, and things I won't be able to describe. Maybe it's just me, maybe it's usual thing that happens. I don't know.

I am thankful that I get to have good education. I know I have to work hard. I am gonna have to make sure that every pennies my dad spent on my education is worth it. I WILL. or atleast I'll try. I feel bad for my mom and my dad that they had to work really really hard for us, and yet, I was not able to satisfy them in anyway. Like Ben raj told me before I left, '....u have bright future ok, make use of it and make everyone proud. I know I would be..' Thank you Ben for having that faith in me. I really need that.