reality

*Thanks many bunches to my mom and my dad for giving me the good education. I will try to make use of it as much as I can.*

e-mail opened. flight tickets confimed. I am going away. far away to a different continent. different culture. how am i gonna deal all by myself?

I looked at flight details again, suddenly, the weird feelings I have rushed into my mind again. I felt sad to leave my loved ones. I really dont want to go. It is too fast. but it is time for me to move on. new experience. Im afraid.

I looked at flight tickets again. suddenly I thank myself for being in a good family where they can support me in everyway. I thank god for providing me this. I thank my parent for working hard for me. I fely sorry for those who needs what i have. I felt sorry for myself, for not realizing how lucky I am. i felt sorry for not making the best out of eveything I have. I felt sorry for myself for not realizing the values of money, and spent it stupidly when some people NEEDS it badly.

I don't know if this world is fair. In my opinion, it totally is not. I just felt like crying as im typing down words by words. a word, a sentence can not explain how terrible and unfair this world is, to someone I know. someone I love.

I am not talking about a relationship here. I am talking about all the shitty, unfair shit. Some bad people just get lucky all the time, get away with what he/she is supposed to deserve, while some people just extremely facing unfair treatment. I dont know if it has to do with luck.

and now Im crying, crying while feeling sorry for what someone I love is experiencing. I wish I could help. sympathy is what I got for her, but it is not what she needs.

I have learnt a lot from her experience. Eventhough I dont see her very often, yet i know what is going on with her, in her life. I learned to be careful and wise with all the actions that will lead a long path of the future. I learned to be strong, to be very strong, and that all the problems I'm facing right now is totally nothing compared to hers. I learned how LOVE can lead anyone to do anything, from wosrt to best. I learned that there is always a solution to a problem. I also learned to be thankful for what I already have, that my parent can fulfill all my needs. Also, I learned to be patient, that time means A LOT. I also learned that money is another big issue that can lead to social problems.

I thank her for teaching me all these without realizing it. I just HOPE,i really hope the best for her from now on. I hope she gets through everything. I hope she can sleep well sooner at night and not have to wory about a thing. I hope I can shed some tears for her so that she doesn't have to cry again. I hope I can benefit her in some way, sooner or later. I hope she still have patience, and the strong personality. I respect her for being able to get through the problems, little by little.

- hopefully, the pain will slowly fade away.
- the tears on your cheeks will dry up and be gone. soon.
-the broken heart of hers will slowly be fixed, I hope.